Letter from Fanny to Frank Hall, from Hartford, Ct.
Hartford, Dec. 18, 1862
My own husband
Do you receive any letters from me, or
are you, too, feeling anxious? I do not know how to account for it, at all,
that I do not have a letter; for I am sure you would try and send a line,
or so, to let me hear from you after such days as Friday, and Saturday, [the
battle of Fredericksburg. - ed.], as well as the following days. I can tell
you nothing at all that can convey to you my anxiety. Oh, how I love you.
How my heart is bound up in you, my own dearest one.
And I so want to hear from you. To be
sure, it would trouble me more to have you make any undue effort to send
letters, yet, if possible, it is so important to hear.
As far as I learn from the published lists
the 16[th], I should judge, was not engaged. My great fear and anxiety is
that in your desire to aid, you have wandered off perhaps on some other duty
or in looking, have not been cautious. I do not know with a heart full of
love, as it is possible for me to keep [from] feeling as I do.
I saw Dr. Beresford today, and told him
of your appointment & c. He was much surprised, with a true interest
I think; told me to give you his best regards, and to tell you to remember
your office was not to use the sword. And to have you remember home. I may
not have it exactly, but I meant to have remembered it dictation. I am not
positive about the last clause for you to remember home, but, oh my husband,
I entreat you to. Don't let anything make you forget little wifey. Oh, if
you only knew how she loved you, and how anxious she was, you would &
will remember, I trust.
I do not want to be too persistent, but
if you catch a chance to send an envelope and can write on the inside how
you are, it would be such an unspeakable comfort. Cannot I come down &
be with you and help you? Oh, do say yes, if you can, deary.
Wifey would feel it so dear, such a comfort
to work together. Only pray earnestly, my husband that we may be spared to
one another & be true help mates to one another, here on earth. If God
so wills and we are permitted to labor together in this vineyard, in ever
so quiet and humble a way, what sweet Joy and dear comfort it will
be.
And oh, how we will realize the inestimable
comfort of being together, and working hand in hand in this, our earthly
pilgrimages. Pray for it earnestly, my own husband & if God so wills,
oh, no language can tell how dear it will be to our hearts. We will both
pray, I am sure, and that most fervently. I feel as if I could come to you
and we could work together for I am sure a woman could not come amiss, among
so many wounded ones. And you know that wifey can be useful in that capacity.
I long to be at work with you.
Don't forget to answer my questions. It
is late, so I must send you sweet, loving kisses and the deepest, truest
love of thine own wife.
Fan